How can we guarantee that our relationship will be rock solid throughout our lives? This is a difficult question to answer, but also a harsh thing to contemplate.

Even though psychologists, Poets, Artists, and Bloggers have pondered on this for ages, they might have failed to ask themselves an even better question.

Instead of asking what is a good relationship, we should be asking how to be in a good relationship.

A good relationship is different for everybody, but there are a couple of healthy and productive habits that can be taken into account. All of these values are related to one another and should be seen as a cathedral, a building with many entrances that lead to the same center.

Communication

It’s easy to fall in love with someone, but it’s hard to actually like someone. You can date and meet everyone in town, but there’s probably only one person you’re able to talk to.

Communication is a cliche for a reason. Any relationship, regardless of its nature and size, can only hold the test of time through honest and transparent dialogue.

Patience

It takes time to understand ourselves, let alone another person. When we truly love someone it’s because we’re willing to work through the challenges but also learn to embrace the process of growing together.

This also works the other way around. We must be patient with ourselves in order to create a relationship that works for us. 

Love and relationships aren’t like any other product or service. We can’t buy it at a store, it doesn’t come with a manual, and we certainly can’t trust everyones opinion on the perfect relationship.

Bravery

This is probably the most important aspect of all and the most overlooked. We can’t accomplish anything without bravery.

The most intimidating challenge about any relationship is vulnerability and truthfulness. To be honest with oneself and vulnerable about our own insecurities demands a great amount of courage.

Once we conquer our most embarrassing insecurities, guilty pleasures, and past memories, we can start to flourish with another human being who is willing to accept us for who we are.

Empathy

The essential skill for just about everything. Empathy is a must for any relationship. To be able to place yourself in the position of another human being is the most rewarding experience of all.

Once you overcome egoism and unconsciousness, empathy can bloom and feed areas of your character that you’ve never felt before. 

Patience, Empathy, Bravery, and Communication are the four pillars of any healthy, transparent, and willing relationship. The first three habits and values feed the last one.

An extensive conversation with a person who is willing to listen and understand you, not just laugh at your jokes but actually embrace you, is worth having a lifetime.